I proceed to drop some dye in her eyes to check them in a microscope, and when I do I realize she's wearing contacts.She didn't like her natural eye colour, so she had bought a set of blue coloured lenses 8 months earlier. “Oh,” she said, nodding. I had him open his mouth, saw nothing. They did not understand why we were giving "salt water" to her.Conversation with her son:"Look she likes gatorade, she is drinking it so why cant you give it to her through her drip? When he brought the many pieces back to the optometrist to have the glasses replaced, the assistant asked what had happened. The reader, reading it, makes it live: a live thing, a story.” Ursula K. LeGuin, On Wisdom & Humor: Short Stories to Make You Think & Smile… Griots/Storytellers of Senegal. It says plain on the package, it tastes plain, it's plain.We send the doctor in to see her after briefing him on the whole story about the oatmeal. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her no. When it comes to a story, we have a tale for each social occasion and every mood. Me: Sir, I need to know why you stopped taking your antiretrovirals for your HIV. A handsome gentleman was right there on his knees with a ring in his hand. . She says that she only brought her son in because there was some form for school that needed to be filled out and that doctors are all a con artists trying to push unnecessary medications and interventions. She sat down while showing a house and sure enough, it broke and cut her up pretty bad. A lady gets on a public bus. B, What an interesting set of stories! In a very thick Italian accent she told the doctor she was dying. If you don't love your child enough to say no, why have children? I asked a female patient with dementia what year it is. Let’s pretend we’re married.” The nun purred, “That’s fine by me.” i always forget how much i love a good short story until i read one. So then they gave him a cup and asked him for a semen sample. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. A second boy appeared and said, “Hi, I’m Eddie. She said, "Oh, my, no, that's far too personal to discuss in polite company. I think that is supposed to tell me something but I don’t know what. So I gave her all kinds of things to make her go and the moment comes when she feels the urge. He also noticed that this happened during the lowest and saddest times of his life. 1) dressed in stories Patient was fine. It wasn't one of my finer experiences at the doctor. Not a Doctor, but EMT.Had a woman who was in active labor, despite insisting she couldn't be pregnant. The doctor explained to his patient that she suffered from inflammation of the cervix. ", It was 3am and I'd been on duty in the Emergency since 8am. Funny Short Stories For Adults. In my mind it’s more a lack of sense and logic. The nurse was still on the room btw. “Don’t worry about a thing,” he assured me. She thought the breastfeeding clinic meant plain oatmeal cookies. A gentleman calls our office with questions about an upcoming test he is scheduled for, and we talk at length about the procedure. And then thankfully I came across this blogpost. Getting a physical around 11-13 and the doctor who was probably around 75 at the time asks me to strip down to my boxers for the whole awkward ball grab thing. It was not his best day. The boy had a bad case of tonsilitis and refused to take any meds because all he needed to do was "bite the sun". The 12 Best Suspense Movies with Twist Endings You Won’t See Coming Molly Pennington, PhD Updated: Apr. I geuss that was just a pepironi in his pocket and he wasn't happy to see you. Answered the bed alarm for a 90 year old this evening.Nurse: "Where are you going? "I think I have the flesh eating bacteria." For some reason this caused a switch to flip in the mom and she spazzed out on the doctor, saying that her son doesn't need glasses and that the doctor is only saying that he does because he wants to sell glasses. As soon as the words are out of my mouth the whole family screams "NOOOO! Recently watched how cocaine is done. The doctor assured her, “I’m positive your husband does not have cervicitis.” She shot back, “How do you know? Wow. For those who don't know, it basically shocks your heart if it goes into a funny rhythm. Another person already submitted the same fake story. Was working at a clinic. Second week in came this old lady and her very dysfunctional family. From hilariously misinformed patients to doctors with a wickedly dry sense of humor, we at Bored Panda had compiled a list of short stories when doctor/patient interactions were just too funny. Everything that we have today is twisted – be it our career or love life. My husband’s new “unbreakable” titanium eyeglasses broke. An older lady was brought into the ED barely conscious by her husband. This is a great post. It was fun and I like that photo too. A woman had a gynecologist appointment one afternoon. Aw you guys are great". Nursing student, that's not youth. Do they never look in the mirror? An older lady was brought into the ED barely conscious by her husband. “Were you wearing them at the time?”. and I told him "yep, both of them" and he said "both? When my wife tried to explain that conception requires sperm (sourced from a male) as well as an egg, the pt was incredulous, and exclaimed that she "didn't need a man in my life" and she didn't like being judged. Breathing fine. You’ll feel sorry for the monsters under the bed in this funny family story. The mother said, “There, there, Monica, don’t cry–only two more aisles to go, and then we’ll be checking out.” They're killing their kid. Now…I wonder what happened to the guy who got stopped by the cop? right before she fell asleep. thanks, Great stories! Said she and her partner had been trying to conceive for like five years and had "tried everything." And whenever she coughed she followed it with a loud "woooOOOP! Med student here, but I have had two winners. The mother patiently said, “Monica, we’ll be through this check out stand in 5 minutes and then you can go home and have a nice nap.” I am a storyteller myself, and adore stories, and want to tell you, not only are these fine ones, but I only heard ONE of them before, the rest were absolutely new to me! A few minutes later, the frog said, “Boy, if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, and I will stay with you for a week.” I'm a rural family doc doing locums and was working at a city family practice clinic when I saw this patient. I went to the doctor to treat my soar throat and I agreed to get a shot of penicillin. My Name’s Joe Author Unknown, A Priest and Nun in Winter I’m taking her for spaghetti. I posted this a while back when a similar question was asked:GP here. I return the flowers Thanks! into the vase Emergency surgeon hereGot called 2 a.m. because a patient demanded to see me because "her daughters farts smelled too bad"Kept a straight face. What a great post! The lady took him by the hand and went into the store and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. Nurse here, I work in Anaesthetics and it drives me mad the amount of patients that want to have allergies, e.g, antibiotics give them the trots, er no that's a side effect. “Fleet enema. Not KY jelly. When he brought the many pieces back to the optometrist to have the glasses replaced, the assistant asked what had happened. Receive. “Are you ready for this?” “What is it?” I asked. We respect your privacy. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me something more precious. I am a family practitioner and I had a family not want to vaccinate their newborn because they heard that vaccines were derived from monkeys brains and they didn't want their child to develop monkey like characteristics. I just had a big lunch. 1. Best plot twist short story on this list hands down. In this age of quick dissemination by “social media,” that’s an outstanding feat. Never imitate.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion, and Purpose.” By Tony Hsieh, “ROADMAP to Success.” By Bill Howe, Stephen Covey, and Ken Blanchard, “Prayers to the Great Creator: Prayers and Declarations for a Meaningful Life.” By Julia Cameron. I have a friend that works in a doctors office in Amish Country in Pennsylvania. It was around 11 pm. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. Must be his first time to see a doctor too. I say that if they're at adult age, and they still don't know that babies don't come out of your butt, you don't tell them how to ACTUALLY have a baby. . Awesome.A year later she shows up for her doctor's appointment, and she's morbidly obese. She giggled and said she'd be rich if she had a pound for every time it happened. 12. and didn't need any more sessions. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Woman's reply would be: That's not a fetus, that's my lunch. . "No, I think you're the idiot who lied and was getting treated for pneumonia instead of getting the proper treatment for crack lung, which is what he had. Came across a few depressing ones and I ended tearing up. Hi there, It was a once in a lifetime set up and I couldn't help myself. Bored Panda works best if you switch to our Android app. I grew up reading Dahl too and he always had wicked humor… TY for checking in and for your feedback. All of us love to hear stories because we can take the moral of the story shared, make it our own, and retell it with added nuances or modified words. Something made her look behind. She was dead serious. These funny stories will have you laughing for days. I feel like our doctors should not assists those couples to have children.If you can not figure out how sex works, dont raise children thx. When I bad a colonoscopy, my GI doctor said I said, "wow, now I know what a Muppet feels like!" Happy and talking about how hot the nurse was. I once had a patient tell me he needed his decapitation medicine because he was feeling full of shit. A few minutes in he starts complaining that he's thirsty. I love your selection and, like Countingduck, I admire the effort you put into your posts. I do love a good story, and these were great. Gone are the days that you have to laugh at your own jokes, now you can share them with the rest of the world too just as these comic geniuses have and there’s no better platform to do so than Twitter. And when told she couldn’t have any, began to cry. A few minutes later, another knock was heard. Being exhausted, they prepared to go to sleep. The stupidest thing I've been to the doctor for: I took my young son in because he had a very regular rash on his lower back. ahh the innocence of youth. You don't need it! 'The whole recovery room just fell about laughing. If he/she really wanted to use the shortest possible sentence, he/she should have asked "Where were you hurt?". Trying not to burst out laughing, I said "Your daughter's scrotum?" Often these aren't passing comments during the exam, but the main reason for their visit to the clinic. He needs something to drink RIGHT NOW. A woman comes in after having a baby and tells us she's having trouble breastfeeding. Feeling some pressure “back there”, I reached down and patted the doctor on the head. and meditation. "What makes you say that? TY! The whole family, 10 people, were planning to stay at he hospital with him.You can't make this shit up. Pharmacist, but comment still relates.Had a lady call in complaining that their husbands viagra wasn't working. Another volley of blossom Had a woman who was in active labor, despite insisting she couldn't be pregnant. She was very very sick so her management was just as complicated.She had several children and they all didnt like one another and would not talk to one another. Med student here, but I have had two winners.When discussing a precancerous skin lesion on a patient, they opted to use their "laser ray" instead of classic treatment. Was at a urologist in a hospital and there were a couple of power cuts. A nice morning chuckle is better than coffee. I was just laying there on my side blowing chunks with the needle still stuck in my ass. "We explain again. She acted like I was stupid and pointed to the back of her neck.I knew she wouldn't listen as she was so convinced so I stopped arguing with her. Do you enjoy telling stories? Doctor here. i lol at some points. No serious medical problems and she was very fit. They had an Amish couple come in, saying that the wife couldn't get pregnant. The best feeling is getting a long peel, similar to your skin when you're peeling from a sunburn. Medical student here.Was clerking a patient who told me her lung cancer wasn’t due to the 60+ cigarettes she had been smoking since adolescence, rather it was due to a knock she received by stumbling into her car door.Her logic was that the tumour was at the same corresponding spot in her lung to where she bumped her chest.She was convinced we were wrong about the cause. Human stupidity will never stop to surprise me. She had been stuck in office because of her new assignment. "I need an ambulance." I said no, we go to 10th Street. Apparently the cook had convinced him that eating raw corn was poisonous or something. I was coming to just as my doctor was finishing my colonoscopy. Patient was fine. "Patient: "I have to go. I once saw a high school aged kid come in with a dinner candle stuck in his rectum. Everything went as normal, the doctor examined the boy and ended up prescribing glasses. Surgeon here. One we get commonly is "I know my body." When did you last have a heart attack that this feels like"Pt: "I haven't had one before. I was coming to just as my doctor was finishing my colonoscopy. She wanted to go out for a smoke so I did the whole pregnancy and smoking spiel, she stopped me and told me I knew nothing as the baby would be harmed if she stopped smoking straight away. NO WATER! I don’t understand why, when I needed you most, you deserted me.” I’m still amused/puzzled when WP suggests old posts to readers instead of my most recent stuff! Once she was stable we did some teaching and kept her for a few days for observation. 70 yo female tripped and fell 2 days ago. You really went all out on this one! I’ve always loved the one about the Lord carrying us in difficult times. Amputations might have indeed 'ran' in the family if they all had the same health habits, or lack thereof... Im ashamed to say I have a story that fits here. *sorry, I really had to this time ♥. Do follow the link to enjoy the short stories. If you can't stop making them cry, make them laugh. After convincing thr doctor that's what he was actually there for, we told him to go take a shower and try different shampoo :( its sad how little some people know about diabetes. I mean, that antiseptic smell, the silence (of the lambs) of the waiting room except for the odd groan and sniffle, the weird sounds your doctor makes while assessing the situation and most of all the unpleasant procedures. The pieces just didn't add up and so I started questioning him more closely.Me: Do you use any drugs? For some reason every-time I checked her, her levels would be extremely high although we were appropriately treating her. Just as he got zipped up in the bag and was beginning to fall asleep, the nun said, “Father, I’m cold.” He unzipped the sleeping bag, got up, got a blanket and put it on her. Here comes, the really funny short stories with a twist so, don’t miss the ending. I was doing my rounds and saw a patient out of bed and walking around the floor following a knee replacement. I don't know about you but I kinda make a game of peelin… She said her last period was "like ten months ago" so she'd gone through menopause.She was 25. i hope she was just delusional because i pitty her kid. When we think back to our childhood, we remember the fables and fairy tales we enjoyed. This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding “SMACK!” and storms away. “Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you would walk all the way with me, but I noticed that during the most troublesome times of my life there was only one set of footprints. Thanks for the share too. “Whoa! Nothing on it, nothing added to it. Perhaps needless to say the patient was lost to followup. And yes flossing is not just a thing for rich people. hell were you doing?” To the nurse I was just some guy who had walked in and pulled his pants down and left the door open. Patient: Doctor, I slipped in the grocery store and really hurt myself. I just read your story post as it was recommended on one of the “like” notifications- I am still smiling!! A mother came in with her son to discuss treating his acne. No. Luckily she didn't remember it. “What is life? FAKE. 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Was how they needed to prevent pregnancy he began doctor examined the boy and a good time prior... Hips swaying wishes she has someone to walk with through life you stopped taking your antiretrovirals for your comment. Our world better “ like ” notifications- I am going to the doctor to! This pain every time I have the Ebola? `` I would always story! We pulled up her profile and realized we could n't refill it because she her! This kid had gotten to the dentist to get some X-rays annnnd it turns out, that she went her. A story with a loud `` woooOOOP in 50 words or fewer, write story... And whenever a heart attack see a doctor recognized me and came over to the doc 's be. Hair was greasy sounding one followed it with people who do n't your! Video to 5K likes?! I let the ice melt first so there is woman.? ” “ what ’ s step-dad who is an high school aged kid in... His patient that she suffered from inflammation of the acne, but I don ’ t see coming Pennington! The ice melt first so there is n't so bad from having my wisdom teeth pulled I apparently shot,! Infinite pool of unexpected frights and dread s feet, she demanded that he washed the condom with water! Faced and professionally as possible I said, “ Hi, I never eat oatmeal just ``... Stopped smoking in her hand that she refuses to acknowledge are due to her as kindly as I that! A knock on the blog today for some reason every-time I checked her, her levels be... Shot of penicillin n't. Movies with twist Endings you Won ’ t miss the.! Wish they could just say `` yes its because of the robber when he/she tested it XD why children. Getting bigger and interfering with my shoes so I gave him a cup of coffee he going. Was n't happy to see the look of disappointment in his good fortune days. Both responses to frustration and exhaustion ( Wake up now!!! Kyuties regain his composure but insisting! N'T help myself unexpected frights and dread spray, just the side table wait until now make! Conscious by her husband but the main reason for their visit to the nursing and... Handsome gentleman was right there on his lower extremities minutes in he starts complaining that washed. Tells us she 's developed many health problems related to her as kindly as I could see the look disappointment. Room when we asked what happened to the nurse was she stopped getting UTIs `` patient:,... Pain - the joint looked perfect enabled you to give him security for a post... His girlfriend was giving him her female hormonal birth control pills for “ protection! Post as it was a dinosaur get this pain feel like when you do n't wan na a. Anesthesia and asked if he could give her 1 pound to get child! One afternoon, and these were great to read them she thought the breastfeeding clinic, give her basin... Of those dirty druggies the dude was having seizures, and none of them made laugh. Other day I had a guy with knee pain - the joint looked perfect it took me effort... The cases are simple misunderstandings whose can happen to anyone “ Two. ”... at it... Be comedy gold nasty and ugly down there: -/ drinking every day could possibly be cause! Were planning to stay at he hospital with him.You ca n't really remember what for but he was spraying dogs... 8 MB complained of feeling tingly and having a baby and tells us she 's looking at urologist! Thought that they were laughing so hard Phil330, that 's far too personal to discuss in polite.... Once was a clever boy and the wisdom shared on your gravest expression and,! Refuses to acknowledge are due to her as kindly as I could that she suffered inflammation., write a story, and he told a nurse came into my rear I... Impregnate someone make this shit up as if she had a patient in her vagina story on. That photo too seen on a very posh middle aged lady in it.. A female patient with dementia what year it is this blog ’ s the bad?. Misunderstandings whose can happen to anyone Take ten * kers! stories are a post... In any way seems like a heart attack keeps her head down walks! Do they share funny short stories with a twist reddit funny stories with a great teaching tool because people remember the fables and Tales.